Lane Seven Produce
He took one wrong turn. The house ball did not.
Lane Conditions
Ticker
$TURNIP, issued after the shoe desk rejected every ordinary vegetable classification.
Assigned aisle
Lane seven, three polished boards beyond the last place anyone could reasonably buy groceries.
Current job
Standing between two regulation pins while trying to pass as standard bowling equipment.
Incoming
A sixteen-pound purple house ball, already committed and showing no interest in produce.
Defense plan
Stay perfectly still, raise both leaves, and trust the bowler to notice botany.
Expected receipt
One loud collision, two fallen pins, and no useful directions back to the vegetable aisle.
Produce aisle missed/Lane seven occupied/House ball incoming/Pins remain professional/Leaves show concern/Shoes strictly optional/Gutters offer no shelter/Checkout nowhere nearby/
Still not produce.